When Someone Moves Your Goalposts
How to sin without trying to.
But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil. [Mat 5:37 KJV]
I got that phone call.
You know the one.
You’ve probably gotten a similar call at some point in your life.
“I’m sorry, you're not a good fit for the job.”
Such a vague answer left me wounded. There was no other reason, no explanation, just, “You are not a good fit for the job.” I went on to assume things that likely are not true.
You might have done the same.
I’m not angry or upset. I’m really just disappointed with how the search team handled my application. It didn’t feel like a fair process.
And yet, I still believe their answer came from God.
It would have hurt less if I had been a stranger to the people who posted the job and the decision-makers who concluded that I should not be allowed to continue the interview process.
I thought they were friends and neighbors. I thought they would have come to me with their concerns. It was the silence that hurt.
Can I tell you a story?
Sometime around 1990, I visited my friend in Alma, Kansas. He was new to the area and needed some animal feed, so we headed off to the only feed store in the area. If I remember correctly, he didn’t have a local checking account yet, so they wanted cash or credit.
He didn’t have either handy.
The clerk said, You're living up in the house off the highway, aren’t you? Just stop in here next week and pay us then. Take the feed now, and we’ll see you next week.
He could tell we were a little confused, so the clerk continued. “In these parts, a man is only as good as his word. If a man fails to keep his word, no one will ever do business with that person again or trust him.”
Let your yes be yes, and your no be no. Anything else is of the evil one.
The original job posting listed a certain level of education as preferred, not required. The search team scrubbed the original job listing from their website and posted a new version on a new platform with new education requirements.
I met all of the requirements except this new one.
Have you ever read the book, “Who Moved My Cheese?” It’s a great little book about how sometimes someone moves the goalposts, and the game changes. The maze is a dead end, so you can either quit, give up, and die, or you can seek another opportunity or change the way in which you find the way out.
When I suffered a setback in school or life, my Dad would shake his head and say in a serious voice, “Life’s not always fair, then, is it?” Usually, it was in response to my complaint: “That’s not fair!”
He was right. Life isn’t always fair. Neither are search teams put together by employers.
Someone moved my cheese, but I’m not defeated. In the long view, I’m a winner.
Sometimes, working with someone, or some group, that fails to remain true to their word can be more grievous and painful than working with a team that is honest and transparent.
What should I do? How should I respond?
Grace and forgiveness need to be the clarion call. You and I need to err on the side of grace. Let me explain a little, please.
I’m thankful for the rejection call; it answers prayer. Sure, I’m disappointed, but who wouldn’t be? I’m grateful because God might be sparing me the pain and frustration of working under someone who sees nothing wrong with moving the goalposts in the game.
Let your yes be yes and your no be no.
Anything above or beyond a yes or no comes of the evil one.
Ouch!
It’s still not my sin unless I want to make it my sin.
But what about you and me? Have we ever said something and then “fudged” on the word we had already given?
We, too, likely have said one thing and then done something else. Maybe we overpromised and underdelivered to a client or boss?
Maybe we promised our kids we’d make it to their school play, recital, or baseball game, and then we let others take precedence over family.
Maybe we promised our spouse a night out, a special trip, or to change a behavior, but we let our selfishness get the best of us.
Maybe it’s one of a thousand other failures to deliver on our promises to someone else or, worse yet, to God and ourselves.
If we are ever or have ever been, in a situation where we were caught changing the rules after the game had begun, we would want grace and forgiveness. Wouldn’t we?
If we have ever messed up. If we have ever intentionally or unintentionally been deceptive, we would want forgiveness and grace extended to us. Wouldn’t you?
I sure would.
Extend Grace and Forgiveness to Others
I encourage you to extend grace and forgiveness to those who have slighted you, changed the rules, lied to you, messed up, and who may never realize what a wicked thing they’ve done.
They might never know the pain they caused.
Worse yet, I might never know the pain I caused. Please forgive me if I have wronged you.
Do You Feel Better Now?
As I write this note, Christmas Eve begins here in California in just ten minutes.
I couldn’t sleep thinking about these things. Now, I’m suddenly feeling ready to sleep. Let me, if you will, leave you with one or two more thoughts.
The first is this. If you go out shopping one more time before Christmas look at the faces, the countenance, of those around you.
So many grumpy faces!
Be the changemaker in your family and community this year.
Smile.
I find that if I intentionally smile while Christmas shopping, it puts me in a better mood. Sometimes, I even get a few smiles back. I just feel better overall.
Christmas is not the season to allow any root of bitterness to spring up. There’s never a good season to be bitter, but Christmas is an especially bad time to be bitter.
While remembering why Christ came, to forgive sin, we shouldn’t allow sin to ruin that memory.
Fill your heart with grace and forgiveness instead.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble [you], and thereby many be defiled; [Heb 12:15 KJV]
That bitterness can kill you. It’s a big part of what caused my heart attack three years ago.
My second thought to leave with you is this.
Love One Another!
We need more “one another-ing” and less selfishness. Forgive one another.
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. [Eph 4:32 KJV]
It might be the best Christmas gift you can give to your family and yourself.
I know I mentioned two more thoughts, but this really is the final one and the one that ties all these things together. I can’t say it any better than God has said it through John.
Please love on one another, forgive one another, and extend grace to one another. We all deserve judgment, but we all need mercy.
Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. 9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. 10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son [to be] the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
[1John 4:7-11 KJV]
Merry Christmas!