I've Lost My Faith

"I have lost my faith.

I sincerely tried to hang on for many years, but Christianity wasn't working for me.

I still worry about my faith.

Maybe you can pray for me?"

This was the gist of a text message I received from a long-time friend. I wrote this piece in response. This version has been rewritten so that my friend can remain anonymous.

I’ve lost my faith

My brother. I woke several times at night thinking about your words and doing as you asked. I was praying during the night and thought about where faith begins.

I'm not going to try to convince you with logic alone because if I could persuade you to keep the faith with my words, someone else could convince you to leave the faith with their words.

Your struggles are between you and God.

Wherever you are right now, grab something made by a human. The steering wheel should be your item if you are listening to this as a podcast while driving.

Could you take a good look at it? Now, where did that product originate? Before being physically produced, somebody drew up the plans; they designed specifics of size and features down to the tiniest detail. The end use of that product was in mind at its creation.

As incredible as AutoCAD or blueprint design might be, the beginning of the product began before that, didn't it? Ultimately, the product you are holding starts as a thought in someone's head.

Can you think of a single element of your daily life that didn't have a point of creation? Without being intellectually dishonest, can you think of anything that doesn't have a design that began with a thought?

The house you sleep in, the bed, the coffee maker, the flooring, the streets, the lights, the computer—is there even a single item you've used at some point in life that came into existence outside of thought?

If you cannot exist without tools, and if someone creates those tools, evidence demands that someone has made the world around us and everything in it. Is there anything that has been created apart from a designer? Can you point to anything in life that was definitively made out of chaos and apart from a designer?

If there is a tool, a substance, a structure, or a creature that has been formed, who is the maker of that thing? Who is the Creator of all things?

The question begs an answer.

Can you know the Creator of all things?

I think this is the beginning of faith. Can you know God? If a person can know God, what does that look like?

The Bible begins with the Creation because if there is no Creator, there is no God.

I think that we should use the same thought process once again.

You would likely say you know me. I don't think you know me as well as you know your wife or children, but you still know who I am and what I am like.

How is it that you know anyone? There are two basic forms of knowledge. There is an experiential knowing and an understanding type of knowledge.

With your family and friends, you have an experiential knowledge of them. We "know" some things because we understand them. You "know" what I am writing here because you understand the glyphs we describe as the alphabet. You cannot experientially know the letter "A" but understand what it "means."

If you don't believe in God, why?

All the logical reasons to believe are in place: scientific reasons, Historical Reasons, anthropology and Sociology, and man's existence—even the search for other intelligent life outside our atmosphere.

To not believe in God is to be intellectually dishonest with yourself.

But without faith [it is] impossible to please [him]: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and [that] he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. [Heb 11:6 KJV]

You said, "I've lost my faith." As I mentioned briefly, it's not like we wake up one day and ask, "Where's my faith? I just had it here. Now it's gone."

If a person once held a genuine faith in Christ, the loss of faith occurred over time, involving conscious decisions that gradually moved them from the realm of belief into a place of doubt.

I'm guessing the weight and sum of your doubts have tipped the scales and left you believing your doubts and learned experiences as being somehow more real or convincing than the remembrances of the faith you once had.

Consider your connections and relations to delve further into the matter. Is it possible that this is the point of departure? Ultimately, we become like the people we hang around with.

I saw a meme on Instagram this morning, and it showed a couple of good-looking young men, arms over each other's shoulders. The caption read, "The man who hangs around two drinkers becomes the third."

Nearly everyone I've ever met who smokes pot, or who does/did drugs, or who is a drunk was introduced to the behavior by another pothead, addict, or alcoholic. You've heard it said, "Misery loves company," but perhaps you've also heard the saying, "Healthy sheep reproduce healthy sheep?"

It's the same with religious or political ideals. More is caught than taught. If I send my kids to a liberal college, they will likely adopt liberal ideologies during their education there. If I send my children to a conservative college, they will probably become conservatives. Suppose I send them to Loyola Marymount, Brigham Young, or Calvin Theological College. In that case, I think there's a good chance they will adopt the doctrines and philosophies of those schools.

I mention all this to return to the question: How can we know him? How can we know anyone?

As a boy, my parents would exhort me to choose my friends carefully. I wasn't always careful about who I associated with. As a Christian, the Bible gives me a similar warning.

" Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned and avoid them. For they that are such do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple. [Rom 16:17-18 ]

Consider the Proverb, "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools will suffer destruction."

Solomon described the process of falling away with eloquence when he wrote the passage,

"If they say, Come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause: Let us swallow them up alive as the grave; and whole, as those that go down into the pit: We shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with spoil: Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse: My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path: For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood." [Pro 1:11-16 KJV]

Our companions often alter our values, opinions, and lifestyle choices. It can be uncomfortable to hold one set of values and be surrounded by others with opposing views. I want to be liked by everyone, but experience reveals that I never will be.

American author and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar once said, “You can’t make everyone happy without making someone unhappy.”

You can't please everyone all the time. The fiery preacher and pastor Leonard Ravenhill once said, “If Jesus had preached the same message that ministers preach today, He would never have been crucified.”

When I say I want to "circle back" to the original topic, I'm reminded of the redheaded press secretary Jen Psaki. Can God be known, and how do we get to know Him?

Is Your Relationship With God Finished?

Psychology Today Magazine (online) provided eight ways a friendship can end. You mentioned you "tried to hang on for many years; it just wasn't working for me." I wanted to address that.

1. Two people might have a mature discussion and decide their friendship no longer works.

2. Some friendships end when both parties mutually drift apart.

   1. I think it is a non-starter for Christians since Christ promised through the Holy Spirit never to leave us or forsake us.

3. The two have a falling out.

4. One side pulls away after feeling betrayed, unsatisfied, or that they are moving in a different direction in life.

5. One side moves away from the relationship and then ghosts the other person.

6. A new variable can lead to a disconnection and create a wedge. Political beliefs and/or societal beliefs can be one variable. The results are too painful to continue the relationship.

7. Circumstantial changes. A person might move away, change jobs, or other common ground disappears.

   1. I think it might happen emotionally or mentally because I've heard folks say, "It's just not where I'm at anymore, I've changed/you've changed."

8. Death. In our physical realm, no one overcomes death to continue a relationship. It is the finality of human relations.

   1. Do you know anyone in history who has overcome death and might be able to continue a friendship after dying?

I like how the short article concludes.

"Ending friendships can be mutual or one-sided, gentle or harsh, quick or drawn-out. In their wake, members of the friendship go through a range of emotional experiences, including grief, loss, resignation, gratitude, anger, and relief. In a self-compassionate way, those going through the loss can give themselves gentle permission to experience their emotions while connecting to its universality. We have all been there. It is okay if it hurts."

If you have a few moments of quiet, maybe on the drive to or from work, recall the friendship you once had with Christ and reread the last paragraph. While you do, think about the range of emotional experiences you or Jesus might have had after your relationship faltered.

Please let me express one more thought or two. You wrote, "I still worry about my faith."

Being Chased and Being Caught.

I have a small grey tabby cat named Peanut. Someone dumped her near our home in the middle of winter. When I got up in the middle of the night to stoke the woodstove, I'd see her outside, like a ghost in the night. We managed to coax her on one cold January night and fed her.

We have four cats total: one is Peanut's offspring, one is an abandoned newborn kitten, and one is a barn cat rescue.

We've lost at least four cats at night because they were eaten by foxes, coyotes, lions, or other similar creatures. We bring them in every night to keep them safe. Peanut likes to escape back outside after she's fed.

I'll chase her around the yard, and she is always a few steps ahead of me until she finally lies down and rolls over on her back as if she wants her belly rubbed. She lets me catch her when she finally quits running.

Your Relationship Broke Down

I don't think you would worry if you had "lost your faith" entirely. I think it's likely you still believe in God, but your relationship broke down.

In Matthew 18 and Luke 15, Jesus tells the parable of the lost sheep. In this parable, Jesus describes a shepherd who has 100 sheep, and one of them leaves and hightails it into the mountains. That one sheep is like the sinner that needs repentance.

I can't think of a single time that Jesus ran after someone who had rejected Him. In the case of the one and ninety-nine sheep, the one who left was a part of the flock in the first place.

If you weren't part of the flock, I don't think Christ would still be pursuing you. Is it time to quit running and let the Holy Spirit do His work?

What is a “Free” Christian

I love the letter to the Galatians. I find great comfort in it, and when I understood its implications, I began to live as a "free" Christian.

"Churchianity" is all about what to do, how to do it, when, and how I can live according to everyone else's expectations. Don't dance, don't drink at all, don't play cards, and you aren't doing it right if you aren't obeying the Law.

Galatians is entirely about the "get-to" and not the "have-to" of the "free" Christian life.

When I met my wife Kim and began to get to know her, nobody told me I should wash the car before the date, bring her flowers, call or talk to her, take her to dinner or coffee, hold her hand, and be nice to her. I wasn't required to do any of those things.

I get to love her. I wanted to do it because I loved her and still do. It's always been a "get-to" relationship and not a "have-to" relationship.

In Galatians, I discovered that I was free to love Christ, and my actions were a choice rather than a law. I choose to love my wife and do the right thing because I love her. I find the same freedom in Christ.

I'm not under compulsion to follow the Old Covenant Law. I'm not under the Old Covenant. That agreement ended with the death of Christ. The Ten Commandments are the old covenant. (Exodus 34:28, Deuteronomy 4:13) Galatians tells us it is impossible to be under both the Old and New Covenant simultaneously. (Gal 5:4)

The emphasis and intent of the Ten Commandments were to manifest the truth that I cannot live up to the righteous standard of holiness that God desires in me. I broke the Law before Christ and still break God's Law today. The Law is what convinces me of my need for salvation.

What then? You might ask, "Are you suggesting that you can do anything you want to do?"

Yes, I can do anything I want, but because I love the Lord Jesus, I no longer want to do all the things I used to. When God writes His Law on our hearts, we feel guilty about violating our friendship's trust and bond.

As a "free" Christian, I want to do what is right because I love Him and His righteousness. I don't have to do anything; I want to do the right thing. It's one way that I can express my love for God.

So here is my final thought for now.

Are the worries or concerns you feel because you never fully resolved the relationship you once had with Christ? Could you be conflicted because the Holy Spirit still convinces you of sin, righteousness, and the judgment to come?

After I became a Christian, sin was never as much fun as it was previously. Before I believed, I could sin with almost reckless abandon. After I trusted in Jesus, I experienced that separation all over again. It was a little taste of death each time.

Resolve the relationship first if you want to quit worrying about your loss of faith. Listen to your heart. I think you'll hear the same voice Adam heard in the Garden of Eden when the LORD God called to him and said, "Where are you?"

God bless you. I'm praying for you.